Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
