your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
