And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
