Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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