it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
