i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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