it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I believe in your delicious
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
