There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
