can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
