Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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