I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
