3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
