Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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