today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The uberlube is also flammable
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He has the fingertips of a God
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
