So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
