your room smells of hookers.
And success
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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