none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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