YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
