is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
