I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my shit smells like andre
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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