I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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