Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
