Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i believe in u and ur pee
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