I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
