I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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