I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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