believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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