have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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