It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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