If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
