i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
