party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
