You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
