I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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