David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
