Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
