I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
