You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
