what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
