i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
