i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
