Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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