Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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