yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
