you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
