There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
