Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
