worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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