I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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