so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
