well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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